A Little Self Indulgence

Hello to all my blog friends, today I thought it was time to write a short post about my past year as I feel I`ve reached a mile stone and can put the past behind me. So if you want to share in my self indulgence please read on.

 It all started around the Christmas of 201 when my lovely crafty cat Roger had an operation for skin cancer on his nose and we were told by the vet that it was a success and all was well but then he became ill again and by this time last year he was no longer with us and my heart was broken. I could`nt enjoy the garden any more without Roger by my side and the house was empty, my only escape was at work and I hated my job although the people who I worked with were just amazing. The house I had lived in for the past nine years had never been a happy home and only bad and sad things had happened to Stuart and me since we moved there, so that was when I decided we needed to move house.

RIP big Roger

The house was on the market and sold within a week (which was a complete shock) and so we started looking for a new home. Around this time redundancies were announced at work and I put in for it as the money from that and me taking an early pension when I hit 50 in April meant that we could move to the country which was a dream I had held for as long as I can remember. We went to look at a house in the Lincolnshire Woulds and that was it we fell in love with the area although the house was not for us. I took the early pension but the redundancy was not offered to me and I missed out on a substantial amount of money and yet again I was really upset, but as before the people who I worked with were just marvellous and when the time came for me to leave (after 29 years working there) they gave me a good send off.

So I was free at last to go out and buy the house of my dreams and start again, but as liberating as it was it was also really scary and I am so grateful that I have my Stuart who is my voice of reason and rock of stability. We rented a little cottage in the middle of no where and set about looking for a new home but every time we thought we had found it something bad happened. We were gazumped twice and then the surveyor found a problem with another house and that fell through so I have to look back and think they were not meant to be although at the time it was both heart breaking and expensive. Finally after almost six months we found a house that we thought we would be happy to call home and thanks to the owners who were so easy to work with it was ours in no time and the lovely owners are now our lovely neighbours.

I had achieved everything that I wanted when I set out on this quest and along the way I have a new job and met lots of new friends and the "life experience" even the bad bits have been worth while in the end although I do still miss my crafty cat Roger. My motto now is "everything is for a reason" and I am at last aware that we do not control our destiny no matter how we try to influence it because what was meant to be will be. I am more patient now although Stuart would disagree, and I am truly grateful for the good things that happen and I know that even when bad things happen there is a bigger picture being painted and I just cant see it yet.

So to the final part of this story, just one thing was missing and it was Roger and even though I looked for a positive in his not being with us (we couldn't have rented our cottage if we`d had a pet) I did still miss him so much and it had a big impact on my crafting because he would always sit with me in my craft room and now I was crafting alone and I didn't like it. Last Saturday Stuart and me went to the Lincolnshire Cat Trust to see if we could adopt a couple of adult male cats to fill up the big furry hole in our hearts and as I have said before we are not in control of our destiny so why did I go with a shopping list of wants. We came away with two little, and I mean tiny (although to be fair Roger was a huge, big cat) brother and sister called Roger (how strange is that) and Rosy and they are only 18months old. They are adorable and playful and cuddly and chatty and after a year without our beloved big Roger they make our house a real home.

My life has completely changed and for the better (much better in every way), I have left behind a life in the fast lane and a job that was making me so miserable and been lucky enough to follow my heart. It was a leap of faith and frightening from the start but I knew that if it all worked out it would be worth it. I would advise any one to follow their dream because to not do so would be soul destroying, I realise I am lucky because my dream had a happy ending but there were times when I wished I hadn't bothered and the amount of tears shed could have stopped a drought in a 3rd world country but I didn't give up and I am so glad I didn't.......